Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

Our panelists predict who will be the next person to flee the country.

Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: You Know How To Whistleblow, Don't You; It Takes A Hashtag; The Cape CodFather

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everyone to join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in beautiful downtown Chicago, Illinois. For tickets and more information, go to wbez.org. You can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Our panelists tell three stories about the secret lives of cats.

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

More questions for the panel: Like Putting Money Under The Mattress, Going Nowhere Fast, I Am Not Misbehaving, Blue Plate Shmecial.

Bill reads three news-related limericks: Affluent Effluent, Blockhead, Division of Labor.

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz . I'm Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing his week with Roxanne Roberts, Tom Bodett, and P.J. O'Rourke. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming shows this August in Asheville, North Carolina and Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts. And please - oh yeah, whoo.

(LAUGHTER)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it is time to go on to our final game of course. It is Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: We go into the big games, Rox and Tom have three each. They are in the lead. P.J. has two.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, panel, what surprise picture will the government find? P.J. O'Rourke.

P.J. O'ROURKE: Oh, they're not going to find anything as a matter of fact because the system was going great. They're getting just all sorts of terrific horrible images from all of the stuff that we've done. And they're going down through all of us by alphabetical order and they got to Anthony Wiener and it crashed.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Roxanne Roberts.

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm legendary anchorman Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: And here's your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill

(APPLAUSE)

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, "Man of Steel" is the new Superman movie coming out soon. It hasn't been released. Fans are already up in arms. They claim that the director of the movie, Zack Snyder, has left out something essential, what?

TOM BODETT: The last Superman movie there was a complaint about his costume.

SAGAL: This is also a complaint about his costume.

BODETT: Costume. Well, it's not the - I saw the trailer, so it's not the S.

SAGAL: It's not the S.

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT, WAIT...DON'T TELL ME the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, P.J. O'Rourke, and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Roy Blount, Jr., Amy Dickinson and Ken Jennings. And here again is your host ,at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill, so much. In just a minute, Bill's meditation mantra is rhyyyyyyyyyme in our Listener Limerick Challenge.

(LAUGHTER)

More questions for the panel: Mount Effortless, Door-to-Shore Delivery.

Bill reads three news-related limericks: Checking Your Work, Skyhound, Grilled Salmonella.

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Our panelists predict who will be the next big bromance.

Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: "When Barry Met Christie, Up In Smoke, The Bread Ceiling."

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: Slacker Attacker.

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Ken Jennings, Amy Dickinson, and Roy Blount, Jr. And here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, panel, how will Apple repair its image? Mo Rocca.

MO ROCCA: The iPhone 6 will include a brand new feature. Whenever the user begins talking or texting in a theater, he will be electrocuted.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Faith Salie.

FAITH SALIE: For the Steve Jobs biopic, they're recasting Ashton Kutcher with a Care Bear.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Adam Felber.

ADAM FELBER: They're going to own it, Peter. Next St. Patrick's Day, everyone can buy an iPad tax free.

(LAUGHTER)

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm legendary anchorman Bill Kurtis, filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Mo Rocca, Faith Salie, and Adam Felber. And here again is your host from the Orpheum Theater in downtown Minneapolis.

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. In just a minute Bill pays tribute to his favorite Minnesota Twin, Joe Rhyme-auer.

(LAUGHTER)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website WaitWait.NPR.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and you can check out the latest How to Do Everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to get rid of all those delicious cicadas.